6

I had to be my own best friend, said one interviewer of her Luce year. This is my homework.

S said, I want you to take care of yourself and watch out. S was the one who said that he was still in touch with the girl who had broken his heart in high school, they still visited, and she still owned a piece of his heart—that last part is what I understood at least. Some native belief systems have us with four souls. What about four hearts? Maybe one will stay broken. How true that the opposite of love is not hate but indifference.

Ladies and gentlemen the seat belt sign is on for your safety, please do adhere to its instructions.

You will find love again, Ming, said Lila. It was foggy on the bluffs. We lay on the grass. You’ve been like a week of confetti in my life. You were like a fairy whirlwind said Marc after the week I spent with him in Paris. I am making a list of this love and these moments because when I step from the -40 freeze outside to step over the homeless bodies in the stairwell I will need it.

These people are awake.